Being a doc and a dork too, I've been studying on COVID-19 since it first appeared. Still the magnitude of the crisis is shocking. This will be a life-changing event and it may last for years. I could loose both of my parents. I would not be shocked if I also were to die, but then I have been expecting to die since early in life. What surprises me is that I am still here, to see all of this. I never thought I would see the American experiment fail. I did not anticipate being alive for a pandemic. I didn't know that I'd live to see another Great or Greater Depression. But here I am, still breathing, still enjoying the sun streaming through the window and the softness of Kitten's fur, drinking hot tea, with access to internet and hot water coming out of pipes. I am waiting to see what is next. I am lucky and I know it.
Being an intravert, it is not yet a hardship to stay home. In fact, I am more connected with my family and friends because I have been making daily telephone calls. I generally avoid the telephone, preferring one-on-one in-person conversations. But now, the telephone is what I have. And the internet. I have been spending a lot of time on fecebuk. I discover more interesting articles there than I do from my own independent web wanderings. My friends are a thoughtful and intelligent bunch.
I recently read a book called Perennial Seller, about how to create and market a lasting work of art. I am a writer and a philosopher, and I have several books in the works...and I am thinking that this long period of lockdown will be a good opportunity to write. If I can persuade my dear partner to stop interrupting me with his stream of consciousness verbal leakage, I have a chance. My next hurdle is deciding which book to focus on. I shift back and forth among all my writing projects as a new idea or bit of information provokes me. This shifting--and the splitting of one chapter into two, one book into two, does not facilitate finishing anything.
Of course, because my job is at a clinic, filling doctor's orders for herbs and supplements, the business may remain open. I may be one of those who still has a job for a while yet at least. This is both a blessing (paycheck) and a curse (exposure).
To begin with, (your project) is a toy and an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, then it becomes a master, then it becomes a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling it to the public. --Winston Churchill
"'If you are careful,' Garp wrote, 'if you use good ingredients, and you don't take any shortcuts, then you can usually cook something very good. Sometimes it is the only worthwhile product you can salvage from a day: what you make to eat. With writing, I find, you can have all the right ingredients, give plenty of time and care, and still get nothing. Also true of love. Cooking, therefore, can keep a person who tries hard sane.'"
Just finished this novel last night. I don't read a lot of novels, but I have a few on my shelf which have always come to me strongly recommended by someone I trust. I don't remember who gave me this one. It might have been B. She is very much into all things native.
The book is excellent. It also was a 1984 bestseller and got a book critics circle award for fiction. It was Erdrich's first novel, and I am sure that many of the subplots in it are bits and pieces from her upbringing as a half-Chippewa in North Dakota.
What strikes me about it, first, is the variety of perspectives the author is able to take. She writes from first and third person perspectives of male and female characters, young and old. She takes a hard look at alcoholism, and PTSD, at our legal system, at the rivalries and drama of siblings and marriages and humanity. In the end I was lifted by her compassion, by knowing that there is a person out there who sees the love inside of troubled people and can write about it.
The book tells tales on Lulu Lamartine throughout the book, but you don't get to hear about the world from her point of view until the very end. I liked Lulu, and many of the other characters. Lulu took pleasure in life, in men, in her many sons. She saw the beauty in things. She forgave. She kept her secrets. There are those who would judge her for her sexuality, but there were many in the tribe that didn't, because they participated in it.
Another striking thing about this book is the way the stories unfold over time as each chapter tells another point of view. The stories gradually work from long past to present, but sometimes in the present the truth is buried, instead of revealed. Other stories come to light and make a difference for someone. One of the most basic stories is that of a person's origins. Who are your parents? Where did you come from? Do you know? In a world full of illegitimate children, it's not a given.
I have been increasingly conscious, for the last 10 years or so, of deaths among my contemporaries. My generation is on the way out, and each death I have felt as an abruption, a tearing away of part of myself. There will be no one like us when we are gone, but then there is no one like anyone else, ever. When people die, they cannot be replaced. They leave holes that cannot be filled, for it is the fate — the genetic and neural fate — of every human being to be a unique individual, to find his own path, to live his own life, to die his own death. --Oliver Sachs (New York Times, Opinion, “Oliver Sacks on Learning He Has Terminal Cancer,” Feb. 19, 2015)
Grant me the tenacity to beat the living shit out of a line until it fits The courage to cut what I cannot fix And the wisdom to feign indifference. --Sir Christopher Jelley
A common form of complexity is the sophistication of fear.
Long words when short ones will do. Fancy clothes to keep the riffraff out and to give us a costume to hide behind. Most of all, the sneer of, "you don't understand" or, "you don't know the people I know..."
"It's complicated," we say, even when it isn't.
We invent these facades because they provide safety. Safety from the unknown, from being questioned, from being called out as a fraud. These facades lead to bad writing, lousy communication and a refuge from the things we fear.
I'm more interested in the sophistication required to deliver the truth.
Simplicity.
Awareness.
Beauty.
These take fearlessness. This is, "here it is, I made this, I know you can understand it, does it work for you?"
Our work doesn't have to be obtuse to be important or brave.
Seth Godin is a writer, a speaker and an agent of change.
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction. --E.F.Schumacher
What do you think? Have you ever fallen into that pit where you had no "real" life and your entire life existed through a keyboard and screen? Have you found your way back into the land of living and breathing? Have you discovered your body? Are you OK being alone with yourself??
I had a housemate once who would become completely obsessed with a new video game and play it continuously until he had completed all the levels. It took a couple months for him to master Grand Theft Auto. He took me for a ride in it. Our virtual reality was shared in living and breathing space, and he was not a lost cause. I don't think. I hope not.
I have a friend who lives a good fraction of her life in second life. She is married in this life and has a significant other in second life. Her 2nd life SO is known to her and her husband. He has a wife and kids. They visit together, eat icecream, break ankles, breathe the same air. Second life has merged with first life.
I have a sister whose occupation is building things for the second world. That is, she obtains or develops images and sounds that she can sell for virtual money. Her reality is beyond my comprehension, except that when she is there beside me she is just as solidly herself as she has ever been, with a sharpened wit.
I have a boyfriend who barely exists on the internet. I told him how many fb friends I have now and he laughed at me. I think he is afraid that I will go where my sister went, or my friend. He likes to exercise and play his guitar and garden and read. Doing all those other things sounds far better than this. I'm outta here.
I felt some loneliness the first week I was here. But now, no. I have enough acquaintances to not feel lonely. The landlady, Marie, speaks English and her bf is American. And her niece, Emma, also…
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