Something a girlfriend sent me:

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of
falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the
ground that aren't as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality,
they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right person to come
along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to us women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable enough to have dinner with.

On my walk today I met another German of the same name as the German that I met in Portland. Gunther. Gunther was pruning a young apple tree that had extended limbs into the sidewalk. He asked a lot of guilty questions when I approached. "Are you the neighbor" and "Do you know these people?" but I had no connection to the apple tree or its owners. He had been unable to get permission to prune the apple tree from the homeowner because they are never home. So he decided to take care of it, for the good of all. And I caught him in the act.
( Sidewalk TalesCollapse )