liveonearth (liveonearth) wrote,

The Cat Chronicles

Shakti is sitting on the window sill in the east window of my office. The full moon is high and clouds are drifting past it, torturing the vampires. Suzanne is starting charcoal in a hibachi on the porch, and the pug beast is snorting in the hall.

I've been studying all weekend and I don't feel like I got very far. I have a couple of midterm exams this week (both on Tuesday) and the usual 7:30am quiz tomorrow.... I feel like I'm a few steps behind, just trying to cover the material once and never ever getting to really do all the reading that I'm supposed to do. Heck, I haven't read last week's The Week yet, and that's my favorite news periodical. Oh well. I just keep going. If I don't pass, I'll take the exams over. I haven't had to do that yet, but it seems like everybody has to eventually.

I called up a whole lot of people that I know in Arizona over the weekend, looking for a home for Suzanne's cat. The cat has been in Winslow for more than a year, but the house where the cat has lived is being sold, cat not included. She doesn't want the cat to be lost to her, so she's hoping that someone will take her in until she can get back to AZ. I enjoyed having an excuse to just call everybody. It was fun. Some of the people I have met in recent years have developed into friends. They just weren't the ones I expected to be my friends.

I talked with local Larry today and we were talking about that. How you don't know who is going to be your friend in the end. You may have some ideas about it, but it takes time for people to sort themselves out, and prove themselves. I am lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life. And I feel this way after recently having dropped the pretense of friendship with several people locally. I do not want fake friendship anymore. I like my own company well enough.

There are lots of people I've lost from my life that I still think about. People who've been angry at me--rightfully or not--and ceased to give me the time of day. When I value those people, I have this tendency to continue to try to communicate and work it out. I don't understand how someone can say for years that they care about you and then one day suddenly just disappear from your life. I want to keep talking. One of my harder lessons is letting these people go. If they're not ready to talk to me, I can't change that. I can't make a person be real. All I can do is be real myself.
Tags: cats, education, friends, nd2, shakti

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