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May 2009 Treat You RIGHT

At long last we can turn the page on another year. Funny how we mark time, and make certain days into big turning points. Every day is a new beginning. Every moment is an opportunity to begin to do what you really love, to begin the work of being your truest you, to begin the process of peeling away the layers of conditioning and denial that separate us from who we really are. The new year starts today, and every day. But today is the day for resolutions, so I am going to check on my old ones, and write out some new ones. Most days I look only at what I need to do to get through the next day or maybe week. It is rare that I look years into the future and focus on longterm goals. I think this is the value of these marks in time; that they remind us of how much time is passing. Another year has gone by. I hope to have another year to follow, and another, and another. I hope you also have many years, and that they are all good. Thanks for sharing your voyage with me.

OK, first, my new resolutions for 2009:

1. I resolve to be grateful for all I have.
2. I resolve to make another new friend in Portland.
3. I resolve to continue my yoga practice, pilates workouts, and vigorous walks.
4. I resolve to eat three or four well-timed decent meals every day.
5. I resolve to keep my weight at or under 150 lbs.
6. I resolve to find my special mountain in Oregon and make at least one attempt to climb it.
7. I resolve to use what I have, avoid spending, and save money from my loans for the summer.
8. I resolve to pass all classes and board exams.
9. I resolve to avoid people who are desperate/needy instead of trying to help them.
10. I resolve to be kind as it is possible to be while also staying true to myself.
11. I resolve to meditate once a day. (new attempt at old goal, new ideas on how!)

That's a major list. I will have to check back on this soon to remind myself and keep on track.

Here are my resolutions from the beginning of 2008,with some comments about how I did. I understand why people don't like to make resolutions; it's not easy to look back and see how poorly you have done at something you decided for yourself was very important. But I am willing to admit my failings because I think it will help me in the long run.

1. I resolve to get aerobic exercise 3 or more days a week for 30 minutes or more in duration.
Grade: D. Didn't do so hot on this one. While I was in the throes of my schooling I got out for one long walk a week....and the rest of the time I was largely sedentary. I did keep up with daily yoga, but it was mostly of the more relaxing sort, not too challenging and definitely not aerobic.

2. I resolve to meditate at least once daily.
Grade: D. I meditate a lot sometimes, and then not at all for months at a time. I do return to deep breathing on a regular basis, but it is not long enough to really reach a meditative state, only enough to calm me down from a state of hypervigilance and anxiety. The closest I came to meditation was ujaye breathing while practicing yoga. This was helpful, but still not the full focus that I want to practice.

3. I resolve to show my love daily.
Grade: B. I did well on this one. I showed my love in small ways even when the gestures were not returned. I am getting better at letting the special people in my life know how special they are to me. I'm not the greatest at giving gifts--largely because I don't want to go shopping or buy things--but I am good at bringing a smile, a hug, a kiss, and a compliment to my dear ones.

4. I resolve to keep up with my school work on a daily basis.
Grade: B. I did better on this than I did the first year. In fact, I think I did almost as well as it was possible for me to do. There seems to be more reading to cover than I can possibly find time for...but then, I still think I can do better than I have.

5. I resolve to completely abstain from intoxicants at least 3 days a week.
Grade: A. I fulfilled this resolution easily, without even having to think about it. Once I decided that I was not going to let someone else's use and offering influence my choice of when to imbibe, I knew that I did not want to imbibe anything on a daily basis.

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