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In the distance a metal machine is banging rhythmically and ringing with a medium tone. The radio is playing the BBC program World Have Your Say, on why nobody seems willing to criticize Obama. I am willing. He just doesn't tell me enough specifics for my criticisms to be anything more than not knowing his intentions or character, and being fairly certain that like the other republicrats he is unlikely to make the really big forward-thinking changes that we need to make in the way our nation is run. He's not talking about our national debt, bankruptcy and failing currency, our impending inability to fund medicare, medicaide and social security, our overextended and unpopular military presence in 130 nations. Did you know that we have 75,000 troops stationed in Germany? How long has it been since we have been at war there? What are we DOING?? ....Obama is not talking about the stuff that I care about, so I don't trust him. I don't think he has the guts to buck the system. I think he wants a long and glorious political career, and that means following the rules.

On the radio someone just pointed out that all the black stars--Oprah, Stevie Wonder, etc--are supporting Obama. Their remark was that of all people you would think Stevie Wonder would be colorblind. Well DUH. I know why blacks support him even though he is vague. Because he knows, he understands what racism is, and what it does. Many whites have not had to really grasp it, and maintain unconsidered prejudices about many races. So aside from the fact that McCain is unbearable for many of us who used to respect him, Obama is hands down the obvious choice for any person wishing to build a tolerant multiethnic culture, which is part of what made America great. So yes, his blackness is a huge advantage, and rightfully so. It is time that we had a nonwhite president. We whites are too stuck on ourselves.

Meanwhile in the dinky upstairs Portland appartment, the ants are mounting a full offense. They are coming out of cracks in the walls, and flowing in streams looking for food and water. I keep blocking their paths, keep killing them by the hundreds (thousands if I could), and they keep coming back. The kitten is mad at me because I have cleaned the shelf where her food sits five times now, each time with more stinky stuff. This last time I used cedarcide. The ants are back, anyway. I guess I'm not finding the actual hole they are coming from. I need to block their point of exodus from the wall.

The kitten is sitting on the windowsill. She seems less inclined to roam for a long time these days, though she does tend to run around most of the night, coming back in around 3am. She usually wakes me up. She seems to like having me around. I will be gone this coming weekend, and I hope she can keep those other cats from pissing on my chair again. I will double up the blanket...just washed the last pissed-on one. Cats just aren't as good as dogs at holding turf.

The other day I took my computer to a 28 year old 3rd year computer science student named Jason. Jason is fluent in all kinds of computer languages, and did some housecleaning on my machine. As I thought of things, I would bring them up, and he would start working on that too, in another window. The guy could multitask like mad. I paid him $40 for an hour, and he got a lot done in that hour. I am using firefox for my browser now. It turns out that the reason safari (the Apple browser) was locking up and shutting down had to do with it being an old version that could not deal with new java. Replacing safari would cost money. Firefox is free.

I remain impressed with this Apple iBook G4 and satisfied with my purchase. It's a good machine, and I have put some miles on it. I am backing it up regularly and will probably get another one when necessary. Only smaller. I can still see the screen.

My parents tell me that soon my arms will get too long (to read) and I will have to get glasses. I'm 42 and so far, so good. Many people tell me "just wait" until I turn 45, THEN it will hit. I hope not. I like being able to see. I exercise my eyes often, focussing near far near far near far, circling the range of motion, focussing bright dark bright dark bright dark....just keeping it all moving. I don't know if it will do me any good, but I do know that when I started singing again, my vocal cords gradually got into better shape until I could hit a much higher note than I could before. I believe that muscular fitness plays a part in vision, too. Flexible and strong.

This afternoon, after my processwork appointment, I will meet with a man that I knew some 20 years ago. Rick worked on the river too, back when I was in my early 20's and just starting as a guide, he was getting ready to move on in life. I liked him and trusted him. He never made an inappropriate move. We used to sit up in the belfry of the whitehouse, at Wildwater LTD in Long Creek, South Carolina. We'd hang out in the belfry and talk. We'd watch the swallows dive into the chimneys at dusk, and the storms sweep across the apple orchards. He'd drink a beer or three. Other people would come and go, including my boyfriend at the time, Albert. Rick would play his guitar and sing, and I'd sing too when I knew the song.

Rick is linked with sweet memories of one of the best times of my life..... Bittersweet, from this vantage point, because since then I have been so beaten down, broken hearted and burned out...... back when I knew him I was an optimistic innocent. I was having fun and not worried in the least about the future. I can't be that girl anymore. I am not her. I almost feel as if she has died. If she is still in me, she is in hiding. I hope that the new version of me can still be friends with him. I need friends. And I know in my gut that he is a good person.


Jul. 23rd, 2008 09:34 pm (UTC)
The Lesser is the Greater
Ran across this today on the difference between Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum...

[T]he “lesser” evil isn’t; when it is chosen it is always the greater evil, because it’s the one that is actually done, rather than serving as a convenient rhetorical device.

Regarding every matter of public consequence, John McCain and Barack Obama — for all their differences in style (Obama actually has one; McCain does not) — are entirely fungible. They are both products of the bipartisan corporatist consensus, surrounded by retainers from the Power Elite and devoted to enhancing the Welfare/Warfare/Homeland Security State. Neither poses any threat to the existing architecture of power.

Whichever is elected will become the latest in a long line of presidential perjurers when he takes the oath of office next January.

Perhaps the only substantive difference between them is that one is a sleeper agent for the Jihad, the other for the Vietnamese. I’m only kidding. I hope.


Edited at 2008-07-23 09:38 pm (UTC)
Jul. 24th, 2008 05:30 am (UTC)
Re: The Lesser is the Greater
Ha! That's good. I think the lesser is a greater evil also because it helps perpetuate the illusion that we are making some sort of positive choice...



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