I noticed it because I was getting ready to put away the beads that have been on my desk for two days now. I was thinking of making something before I put it away. I was looking at beads and holding the dish in my left hand. The hand was trembling, and as I watched the motions increased. Pretty soon it was wobbling several inches.
What part of the brain was that? The part that inhibits the reflex to stop overshoot? I think there is something wrong with that part of my brain, on the right side. The side that I usually hold a phone to. First year medical student self diagnosis disease. Should I believe myself?
It is the cerebellum that dampens reflex oscillations. When I tense up all the muscles around my arm, wrist and hand, I can almost steady the hand, but not completely. Holding up an object makes the tremor bigger. Is this the inverse myotatic reflex?
It was more than a year ago that I noticed I tend to fall to one side when I stand up from sitting. I think I may pursue this and change my life dramatically. Enough denial. Enough accepting platitudes as if they were truth. What lengths sometimes I must go to break through my own denial. What proof I need of what is right before my eyes. I feel sick.