All it takes is the tiniest little descent back into myself and things come clear again. I am in a position where I keep retreating into a turtle shell of fear and denial. It is not easy to keep my heart open. But tonight provoked by a friend teaching a meditation class I sat with a small group again and sat with myself. I arose awakened once again, if only temporarily. I know what I need to do. I think I know the cost. I do not know exactly how to do it. But I am doing it. I must. I must stay true to myself. I will surround myself with the best influences. I will be strong and nonviolent and honest and kind.