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Half Moon Mourning my Comminuted Heart

Moon slung in pink clouds as sun sets
Tears of joy and pain mix in my eyes
Can one have more broken hearts than cat's lives?
I think I have.

Today between classes I had 1.5 hours which went by so fast.....I went to the "energy medicine room" and practiced yoga, some sun salutations and pigeon pose to help my body break into its cycle. I ended up sitting lotus for a very long time, singing the Anusara invocation over and over again. Sometimes my throat would close and my voice would tremble or stop altogether. Tears rolled down my cheeks and throat. Other times the melody would run through me like water. I miss the Barn, I miss the yoga kula that I knew in Flagstaff, I mourn the loss of my innocence and so much of my hope. I mourn my many broken hearts. I mourn the sad lost souls of my family, and the empty ignorance of the people who surround me. I mourn for this country and this planet and this species. I mourn for everything that we have destroyed.

Tonight I logged on to my journal and some asshole had taken the time to comment calling my writing "tripe" and asking which is a greater waste of time, my writing or their reading it. I didn't respond. I find value in writing about daily stuff. It helps me to think, and to let go. My true friends are interested in the story of my life, and I am interested in their stories too. If this journal is boring to you, please don't feel that you need to leave a mean comment, just go somewhere else. Use the scroll button and move on by.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
neptunia67
Sep. 21st, 2007 02:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, T, I'm sorry. I wish I were there to give you a hug. Yep, let the asshole pass on by. They are wasting their time if they don't enjoy your writing. Fuck 'em. Personally, I love your writing, even when it's a rant.

It is so hard to settle into a new place where you don't know a single person. You'll find your stride, find friends, and I hope - learn to love your new home. Give it time.

XOXOX
liveonearth
Sep. 21st, 2007 10:04 pm (UTC)
Thanks, lady. I'm OK, I just have to feel this pain in order to move through it. It helps knowing that I have some tried and true loving friends out there, among them you. I am finding, as I settle into the beginnings of a routine here at the school, that there are a few people that I really like, and will seek out as I have the opportunity. There are lots of lots of people who are closed, or negative, or bitter. I am using the scroll button on them in real life. Can't be best buds with everyone. Don't want to be.
quayme
Sep. 21st, 2007 08:34 pm (UTC)
I mourn also. Heal yourself and get on with it.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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