awakeThere's a conference coming up this spring that I hope to help with as well. It's on Consciousness and Altered States, and addresses the question: "Is it necessary to change a patient's consciousness about their medical challenge in order to facilitate real healing?" I think the answer is YES, but we'll have some interesting speakers on the subject of transformational change, meditation, and ah-ha moments.
At home things are getting better. I rearranged my room yet again----and finally I have found an arrangement that gives me a sleeping space without odor (under the window), a study space with good light and a comfy chair next to my book shelf, and a computer space that is across the room from the comfy chair. All this is inside my small bedroom, where I can close the door and keep my housemates and their dramas at bay. And they all have dramas going on. My little drama is merely one of change, theirs are more chronic. Sitting in my new study area I was able to review my histology, anatomy and herbs last night after hanging up the phone, and slept reasonably well.
The kitten is doing better too. For a while there she was all depressed and grouchy, I think because she was getting her ass kicked by the two neighborhood cats. But she is younger and quicker than them, and can run away if nothing more. She has developed the willingness to bite me, which she never did before. I don't like it much. When she bites the hand backs away and there are no more pets for a while. But just two nights ago, after explaining to Suzanne that Shakti doesn't sleep with me (I think because of our early experience when I flung her repeatedly off the bed until she would allow me to sleep), she has slept two whole nights right near me. Perhaps it is just getting cold enough that she wants the body warmth again. Whatever the case, it is reassuring and sweet to have her warm body close to mine.
I have settled down some about the rush to move, since I've managed to get more comfortable in the space that I have. I rode the bus in this morning because I was feeling very low energy---NOT like riding my bike for a whole hour---and I am OK with the bus. I don't like waiting at the stop for a long time, which I did today, because the bus I meant to catch must have been early, and then the one I did catch was late. So I was at the bus stop for a half an hour. I've got to get the bus times sorted out better. It's better to go earlier in the morning, when the busses run every 15 minutes. If I go after 8 they run only every 30 minutes.
The owner of the house where I am living is extremely unappealing to me. He is completely unaware of the internal state of anyone besides himself. Inside he is in a constant state of anxiety. He is a "gamer" meaning that most of his energy goes into playing games either online or in person. On Saturday he had a bunch of guys over to play board games, which they did for some 8 hours. He's very competitive and gets mean when he's loosing. He cares about golf and football. He thinks I'm made of money because I choose to buy organic eggs for $4. I think he's an alcoholic, because he keeps coming upstairs to fill up his glass with ice. I think he's drinking 2-4 tall glasses of bourbon every night. He tries to hide it but when he's lit, he can't hide it. He works out in a gym and doesn't understand why I like to go for walks in the state park. He has never walked as far as the river from his house, and it's less than a mile. He's anti-political and intentionally interrupts political conversations whenever they occur in his house. His brother Tim is politically aware and thoughtful, and Brian interrupts us when we try to talk. Brian and I don't agree on much of anything, and I won't be looking him up after I'm out of his house.
I did enjoy some time with Gavin over the weekend. He's a guy, yes, but he's not oblivious. It is good to know that I'm not the only one who notices these things about Brian.