I feel like I'm unravelling.....the stress of not liking my homespace combined with the new program, truck problems, general school stress.....have added up to me feeling like things are on the edge of coming apart entirely. I can't find my tea, keep loosing my watch and wallet and keys and ID and cell phone.....I don't seem to be able to bring the right stuff with me to school......I don't like feeling this way. It's as if there is pressure from all sides.

And this is only day 3. Yesterday I ran my ass off trying to get a respected mechanic's opinion about my truck. I drove it to Clackamas and dropped it off, then biked until I found a bus stop, rode three busses and biked intermittently to get to school. Went to classes for 4 straight hours (we don't get breaks to speak of) then biked and bussed as FAST as I could to get back to the shop before they closed. Missed the message from the mechanic and had no chance to call him back anyway. Got to the shop 5 minutes after closing and was lucky to be able to retrieve my truck---and this after I was exhausted from bike sprinting the last few miles because the bus I took didn't go as far as the route showed on the map.

ARGH!

So I cancelled the 2nd truck appointment today, I don't have it in me to run around anymore in my first week of classes. I have scrapes and bruises all over my body, from what I don't know. When I get stressed I get unconscious and bump into things. I still hate the crappy smell in my homespace. This morning I confessed to one of my housemates that I am a short timer in the house, and expressed that I'm looking forward to living with a woman. He wanted me to explain what it is about men that I don't like. I started out with Men Are Pigs and got more specific to say men are not as clean as women. He wanted me to say more, and got all in my face about it. I wanted to say that men are confrontational and agressive, but I didn't want to perpetuate our confrontation, so I just said I didn't have time for it and rushed out of the house to the bus stop, only to realize that I didn't have everything I needed and my ipod was out of batteries. ARGH. Checking my email I see that 2 people have already applied for the apartment that doesn't open until 10/6. What the fuck.