liveonearth (liveonearth) wrote,
liveonearth
liveonearth

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Awake in the Very Early Morning

I awoke before dawn from a dream. In the dream I drove my little truck down a steep dirt slope to the river, thinking that there was a less steep way to drive back out. Once down there I found that I could not drive back out with my mere two wheel drive; all the routes back up to the road were steep enough to roll me over endwise. After each attempt my truck would slide all the way into the river and nearly choke off, but I was able to drive it back out of the water. I saw a jeep trying to ford the tributary stream just upstream from the beach where my truck was trapped, and the jeep got swept into the river and stopped just before it was taken downstream.

I was grateful when I awoke far enough to realized that my truck was not really trapped, it was just a dream. I've been awake ever since. The roosters across the Dell started crowing at least an hour before first light. Now we're on 9th or 10th light---the black turned to a glow, then to blue, and the clouds are lit from the bottom now, but the sun is not up yet. The roosters are still going off, more voiciferously than ever. I usually don't hear the roosters---I am usually asleep this time of day.

I meowed at the cat and she woke up, came and said hi, and sat on the windowsill watching the dawn with me. Then she dropped off the sill into the morning moisture and was gone. At this point I believe I will leave her here at the Barn until I can come back for her, or until someone drives my way and can bring her. My neighbors in the Barn are going to take this apartment, and will keep her food and water bowls where they are. I will miss her but it will be easier on both of us. Easier on me finding a place to live without a living being trapped in my truck, and easier on her not being in a cage in a truck in a strange place for a week or more. I hope I can find a place at the end of the road and near the river where she can climb trees and catch birds and be the happy outdoor cat that she is here.

I've had the runs for the last couple of days, and it seems to have nothing to do with what I eat. I think it is nerves. I think my gut is responding to the stress of moving, a death in the family, and everything that I had done to myself in recent times. I used to have a "gut of steel" that was never disturbed by anything, and always slightly constipated. Now it's the opposite. My gut is sensitive, easily altered by my emotions and running loose. I have read that moving is more stressful than a death in the family, but for me the world delivers both together.

Today after work some friends of aughraseye are coming to get my bed. My truck is about 1/4 full of things to be stored. I have given away a few more plants. I have a bottle of wine that I didn't open yesterday. I had thought to have a small gathering on the back porch of the barn, but in the end only two girlfriends came over, hours apart from each other, to say goodbye.
Tags: digestion, dreams, relocating, river, shakti, stress
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