I am constantly dropping songs into songlists, and the ones that resonate the most with what I am thinking are the ones that become a mix. I start with 30-50 songs, and delete from the list every song that I dislike for any reason whatsoever. When I get my current favorite songs down to 20 songs or so, I burn audio CD's for my friends. The current mix is about getting the hell out of dodge. I call it the Blow 'Em Away Mix, named for the first song which is a humorous number from David Wilcox about road rage. I am ready to move on. The music tells the tale. I have listened to this mix at least 20 times, and there is something about the combination of songs that is particularly comfortable and satisfying. Each time a new artist comes on it is refreshing after the last one. I really like mixes.
I have two days of work left. I have already removed all my personal affects from the office, and am working to complete the last few menus so that I leave no loose ends whatsoever. I have been telling my clients that I am leaving for months now. I also asked them to use me up until the day that I leave, because I'd rather be busy than bored.
Today is a day off. I needed it. I was so tired last night that I retired at 8:30pm. When I post on LJ in the evening, it keeps me up late. The sun is rising just after 6am and I tend to wake at first light, even when I hang blankets over the windows. So I get sleep deprived when I stay up late. Better to retire early and post in the morning, or not at all.
After I finish my last bit of work I will load up one truckload of stuff to be stored. I have a hoard of outdoor equipment that I won't be using much while I am studying to become a doctor. A friend will keep my pile in her shed until I can return for it, or she can bring it to me, whichever comes first. I will give my plants away to friends. I have a list already of who gets what, though a few plants are not claimed yet. I'm giving my remaining foodstuffs to Gunther and Ingrid, because I notice that they eat low quality food and scrape their plates thoroughly. They have never been as wealthy, or as wasteful, as I have already been in my short time. I need to learn from them how to be frugal. I thought I knew how, but obviously I was wrong.
I feel like a fool for having saved so little in my life. The wealth that I have wasted would have supported a village. I have been extravagant in my daily habits, traveled the world and had nice playthings instead. I could have saved enough to pay for the four years of school I am about to embark on. I have wasted that much in my life. It is a guilty realization. People have helped me rationalize by saying that experiences are priceless, and it is true, but I could have had those experiences and still been far less wasteful.