On Saturday night, at the boss' birthday party, I learned that the woman K that was hired to replace me is moving on. The boss told me accidentally, and when I indicated that I hadn't heard, he acted as if he had made a mistake by telling me. K is competent and bright, but she seemed a little squirrely and now I know why. She got offered another job with higher pay and jumped at it. That's why I was so valuable: I stayed. I learned how the business worked, and then I stuck around to learn some more. It's hard to run a business when you can't hold onto the good staff.
But what gets me is that this news that K is leaving was kept a secret from me. Why? I do not understand this. I have been repeatedly frustrated by the cliquishness of this town and this river business, and it seems the cliques will continue to exclude me until the day I leave. Perhaps they don't want me to see through them, but I already have. Maybe they exclude me because I recognize the "us" vs "them" powerplays that replace the teamwork that is possible among equals. I see short-term make-do approaches to business, instead of the long view that results in success.
I am so ready to get OUT of here. This rain.....could go on for 9 months and I would welcome it. Bring it on. Give me people with open hearts, in a city of gray. Give me people who know they are not perfect and love themselves anyway. Give me a city full of people who do not assume that I am a jackass just because I don't drink until I'm facedown in the sand beside them.
It's really coming down now. Hail bouncing like popcorn, water spattering through the screen and dampening my plants. I love rain.