I haven't started bleeding yet but I'm at the edge of tears. This is normal for me, monthly. When I was younger I didn't pay any attention to it, or maybe it really didn't affect me so much. Now I am more tuned into my body, and I have a few days of month that are very different.
Most of the day I've been napping, reading, meditating and practicing yoga. The four merge back and forth into each other. I start breathing consciously in the middle of anything I am doing, and soon it is a meditation. Before biochemistry class today I decided that I would study today, and spread the pages all over my desk. I just put them away, unorganized, in a heap, out of the way. I am not fit to study today. I cannot focus on that kind of detail, I do not care about it. I just want to feel my breath going in and out of my nose. I want to feel the sun on my skin and the breeze in my hair and the kitten's soft fur. There are those who would say that a woman becomes closer to the spirit during this time, I do not know if that is true. I experience it that way. Though I am crying, I am feeling my own unity with the Universe.
I hope to be able to enjoy a dinner out with friends tonight without breaking the mood. Socializing isn't first on my list right now. But it is a goodbye dinner for good friends who are moving to Mexico for the summer. Who knows if they will ever come back.
The book I started today: Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver. It starts well. The protagonist is a biologist who's been alone in a cabin in the woods for 2 years after her divorce. Seems like I only read novels when I "should" be studying for finals. Or going to work.
I am going to make something with the color red....string some red beads........yes.