Power And Rank
3 FORMS OF RANK
SOCIAL
power the world gives us thru position
class, money, health, beauty
education, occupation
clothing, possessions, car
weapons, security of home
family/allies, position physically, age?
being part of the majority (race, creed, sexual preference, class, etc)
PSYCH
power that comes from within
knowing yourself and how you perform in various situations, resilient
self confidence, self knowledge, the ability to effectively utilize one's emotions
has had excellent role models, can tap into their approach
has social support, contacts or family who will provide backup
able to express ideas, feelings, creative, intelligent
ability to use emotions instead of being ruled by them
SPIRITUAL
power that comes from trust in something larger than yourself
being able to access strength not entirely your own
optimism, gratitude, compassion, happiness, fearlessness, calm
don't need the trapping of social rank, usu have some psych rank
does not tend to be very PC
RANK
present in every interaction
becomes a problem when unacknowledged, underground
doctors granted fairly high rank in our society
SIGNALS OF HIGH RANK
posture is easy, relaxed, makes eye contact easily
communication easy, mb reflective or quiet, communication cool and rational
gives permission to others to speak or do
feels entitled: doesn’t mind taking up time/space or “giving” it to others
detached: self confidence or spiritual connection allows one to be less attached to the proceedings
balanced and centered—emotions are less aroused
lower ranking person seems irrational, oversensitive, taking things personally, unreasonable, easy to dismiss
willing to forgo relationship, independent
SIGNALS OF LOW RANK
posture mb leaning forward or turning away, tight or clenching
difficulty with eye contact, sweating, shaking
communication mb emotional (anger, fear)
complimenting, thanking, agreeing in words but not in body language
mb unwilling take up time or space, feel overlooked or neglected
has to compromise, settle for less
feels paranoid/crazy, self doubt, inferiority, insecurity
needs relationship and upset by possible loss
higher ranker person seems smug, superior, condescending, cold, unreachable, arrogant
EXERCISE
think of an example of each type of rank
talk them through
how do you deal with them
