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Hilarious post on Donald Trump

Originally posted by mahnmut at Friday ontopic offtopic: Trump talking-points galore!
Yeah, he really is running. And this is gonna be faaabulous! Hopefully, we'll have more shits'n'giggles with the Amazing Trump, including nuggets like these...



"[Obama] grew up and nobody knew him. You know? When you interview people, if ever I got the nomination, if I ever decide to run, you may go back and interview people from my kindergarten. They'll remember me. Nobody ever comes forward. Nobody knows who he his until later in his life. It's very strange. The whole thing is very strange."





"I rented [Gaddafi] a piece of land. He paid me more for one night than the land was worth for two years, and then I didn't let him use the land. That's what we should be doing. I don't want to use the word 'screwed', but I screwed him."



""Why doesn't [Obama] show his birth certificate? There's something on that birth certificate that he doesn't like."



"[Obama] has spent millions of dollars trying to get away from [the birth certificate] issue...I'm starting to wonder myself whether he was born in this country."





"There is something on that birth certificate - maybe religion, maybe it says he's a Muslim, I don't know. Maybe he doesn't want that. Or, he may not have one."



"Our weak President, that kisses everybody's ass, is in more wars than I have ever seen. Now he's in Libya, he's in Afghanistan, he's in Iraq. Nobody respects us."





"Let me tell you, I'm a really smart guy. I was a really good student at the best school in the country. The reason I have a little doubt, just a little, is because [Obama] grew up and nobody knew him."



"I am really honored frankly to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully, getting rid of this issue. We have to look at it, we have to see is it real, is it proper, what's on it, but I hope it checks out beautifully. I am really proud, I am really honored."



"It's like in golf. A lot of people — I don't want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist."



"I have a great relationship with the blacks."



"I don't like the crying."





"These are stupid people that say, `Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?' I didn't go bankrupt."



"The man that wrote the second book ... didn't write the first book. The difference was like chicken salad and chicken shit."



"I will build you ... one of the great ballrooms of the world."



"I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful."



"In life you have to rely on the past, and that's called history."





"I'll tell you, it's Big Business. If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it's Big Business. Or two words – Big Business."



"You know, it really doesn`t matter what [the media] write as long as you`ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass."





"All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me -- consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected."



"[Pregnant wife Melania] really has become a monster ... I mean monster in the most positive way."



"The beauty of me is that I'm very rich."



"You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people."





"My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body."



"I'm not a schmuck. Even if the world goes to hell in a handbasket, I won't lose a penny."




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